Sunday, March 2, 2014

Dem Things We Carry

The Things We Carry
The things we carry with us are the things that define us as people. They allow us to keep driving towards our future goals, and they allow us to keep being motivated throughout the day. These things give us shape as human beings.

A tangible item I carry around with me is my car keys. I don't even have access to the car a whole lot, but the keys go with me everywhere. I sometimes am banished from the car for weeks at a time, but those keys do not leave my pocket. I don't keep them as a source of bragging over the fact that I have a semi-nice vehicle. I love the feeling of those keys being in my pocket. The way the keys open up when I click that circular silver button centers me back into matters at hand. Whenever I am frustrated, bored, or stuck with any problem, I whip out the keys and fiddle with them. It's like a stress ball. I don't mess with them intentionally sometimes. I catch myself messing with them when doing homework at home, sitting through certain classes ( never Mr. Thomas's class ), and even during debate rounds before I spoke at tournaments. When those keys are not in my possession, I find myself searching for something in my pocket that isn't there constantly, which does keep me busy sometimes.

Dreams and goals are definitely some things I carry along with me in my noodle everyday. However, a lot of the time I tend to be a person who lives in the present. That means in my mind, good grades for instance are a necessity, but for the reason being that it is just a thing I have to reach. ( Trouble putting my actual thoughts into the last sentence ) Thoughts such as: "Good grades lead to good schools, good schools lead to good jobs, good jobs lead to money" don't normally run through my mind. Good grades are important just because they are. ( I do go for good grades just so people know). I do strive for a future with a nice paying job that I actually enjoy. I want to support myself and any family I may have. A degree in Computer Science from a school like UT would satisfy those needs and wants. My main goal in life is to be happy all around.

Depending on a situation, I may have different "go to" persons. For instance, if it is a minor social problem I may just go to a friend or two just to see what to fix. If its issues with grades or any out of school problems, I go to my mother. However, my "Martha" would have to be my older half sister. If I had any sort of problem no matter the magnitude, I can go to her. Say for instance, I got someone prego, she would be the first person I would go to. The reason I have a better relationship with her rather than most siblings is because I have met her only six times in real life. She is probably my best friend in the family. Even though she is nowhere near the greatest role model to anyone, she is still reasonable enough to know how to help out. She's helped me out with many family situations primarily and has taught me a lot on how to deal with peoples b***s*** throughout the years.

My set of friends are very intelligent and most likely have a bright future ahead of them. However, we as a whole happen to be very stupid. People have said it before: " Individually we are great, but as a whole...not so much.". Where I fall in this group is being the rather quiet one. Don't get me wrong, in the group I can very well be stupid sometimes, but in comparison to the rest, I talk the least. I like to sit back and watch sometimes. My ADD also kind of prevents me from paying attention to things and I tend to not know what's going on in social situations. If there was a proper adjective I can find to describe my procrastination habits, I would use it. It's not lazy, because sometimes I work better under the pressure of time restraints. I'd love to get out of these habits of procrastination and quietness. The stupid acting can just be solved by hanging with a new group, but that's not likely to happen soon.

For most of my life I was the only child. I didn't have a brother to beat up or to get beaten up by, and I didn't know about my older sister until I was 8 years old. Because of this, I grew up as kind of a quiet person, not that it's a bad thing. I had friends, so I was never isolated or anything like that. Meeting my sister for the first time really broke me out of my quiet shell when I was 10. She lived with us for a few months and she changed a lot about me. Without that memory of those months, I would have a whole different group of friends, because I would possibly find my current one undesirable.

3 comments:

  1. Jacob, I too was an only child. I did not write about this but I understand how you feel.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I understand how you feel about your keys. Without my car, I feel like my life is in someone else's hands.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I also have many people that i consult

    ReplyDelete